by Kayla Yoder
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, we all just want to feel love(d).
It’s February – the month of love. Everyone seems to get all hyped up about Valentine’s Day. If you have a romantic partner, you either feel loved and appreciated or you feel disappointed by the holiday not meeting your expectations. If you’re single, you’re either painfully reminded of that fact by the constant stream of obnoxious media or you’re grateful to be single and not have to worry about expectations.
Everyone falls into one of those categories and it can be really emotionally draining for a lot of people – especially women.
Today, I invite you to take a moment and look at the concept of love in a new way. We’re all seeking love. It’s the singular desire that we all share and that connects as humans. It’s inherent for us to want connection. It’s an aspect we can’t escape as it exists within all of us at our core.
“The drama of love is all about this hunger for safe emotional connection, a survival imperative we experience from the cradle to the grave. Loving connection is the only safety nature ever offers us.”
Sue Johnson
So how do we feel love when we’re not in a romantic relationship?
There are many types of love. Some of them are more platonic than others, but no less powerful.
Love
/ləv/
noun.
an intense feeling of deep affection.
Here are some things you can do to create more love and connection in your relationships. Some of them may sound exciting to you, and others not so much. I invite you to try them out and see how they feel.
Think back to a time you felt really loved. What was that person doing or saying that gave you the feeling of love? Once you’ve identified what was really meaningful for you, share it with that person in gratitude.
For example, “I really appreciated when you did/said “x” to me, it made me feel really loved. Thank you.”
The experience of love, that intense feeling of deep affection, both giving and receiving, is something we have the opportunity to experience with many people in our lives.
However, while wanting love is universal, the way we experience love as individuals varies greatly. Have you ever considered what makes you feel loved? The way you give love is likely a great indication. It’s common that we give love in the ways we want to receive love from others.
Do you know how the people in your life who are closest to you like to receive love? Have you ever asked your best friend or a family member what makes them feel loved?
This February, I invite you to seek more intimacy and connection with the people in your life, regardless of the type of love you share with them. Because after all, romantic partner or not, that’s really what all of us are craving – truly feeling valued, appreciated, understood, and loved.
2. Ask someone in your life what makes them feel loved and valued. Take notes and come up with a way you can give that to them this month. Do this with as many people as you want – it might actually become addictive 😉
3. Love, appreciation and connection don’t just have to be shared amongst family and friends. The next time you leave the house, see if there’s something you can do to make someone feel appreciated and valued.
For example: help an elderly woman with her groceries or ask the person who is bagging the groceries how their day is going and genuinely thank them for their help.
4. Set time aside to spend quality time with a family member or friend. Ask them questions about how they’re doing and be present. Showing genuine interest, listening, and making someone feel important is so underrated.
Hot tip: if you struggle to stay present in conversation without thinking about what you want to say next, press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. It’ll keep you from being able to think about anything and you’ll be forced into a state of presence.
5. Hugs are also very underrated. Did you know that holding a hug for 20 seconds or more boosts serotonin levels and elevates your mood? Give lots of long hugs to the people you love. It’ll make them feel amazing, and so will you. Win/win. Feelings of love all around.
6. Pick the phone and connect with an old friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while. It can be so easy to drift apart or feel disconnected from people you don’t see regularly. Maintaining connection is often work for any relationship, so adding distance just adds more of a challenge. Take the time to make sure they know how important they are to you – or how important they have been to you in a different phase of your life.
7. Tell someone you love something you really appreciate about them. What value do they add to your life? Share your gratitude and tell them how your life is better with them in it.
Wishing you all the love, affection and connection
Kayla Yoder | FXM Global | https://fxm.global/
