By Cathy Domsch
I remember sitting in meeting rooms knowing exactly what needed to be said — yet saying nothing.
The ideas were there. The instincts were right. But the confidence? It wasn’t.
So instead of offering my point of view, I nodded along with decisions I knew were wrong. I went along to get along. I silenced myself because I believed my voice didn’t hold the same weight as everyone else’s.
The truth is, much of my early life was shaped by a lack of confidence.
I didn’t enter adulthood with self-assurance or a strong sense of my own value. I carried the echoes of being picked on throughout junior high. High school eased up a bit, thanks to sports — and to an incredible coach who saw something in me long before I ever did. For the first time, I tasted what confidence felt like. And it felt like oxygen.
But early glimpses of confidence weren’t enough to rewrite the deeper narrative I had internalized. Low self-esteem led to poor decision-making — in relationships, in my future, and in the way I saw myself. I accepted things I never should have accepted. I stayed in places I never should have stayed. And I believed that “not enough” was simply who I was.
Unhealthy relationships only reinforce those beliefs. Abuse has a way of dimming a woman’s light until she no longer remembers she ever had one. But even then, even in the darkest chapters, there was a small part of me that refused to disappear.
I can still remember the day everything shifted.
At 105 pounds, exhausted in every way a woman can be exhausted, I found myself standing between my thenhusband and the gun cabinet. I don’t know where the strength came from — God, instinct, sheer survival — but I stood there anyway. He could have easily shoved me aside. But he didn’t. And that moment… that moment was the spark that ignited everything that came after.
It was the first time I realized:
Confidence isn’t a gift someone hands you.
It’s a decision you make about who you refuse to be any longer.
Leaving that marriage was not the end of my confidence journey. It was the beginning. It was the moment I understood that confidence is not a personality trait. It is not inherited. It is not granted.
Confidence is built — one brave, shaky, imperfect step at a time.
It begins with clarity. When you know what matters to you — what you stand for and what you will no longer tolerate — your decisions become consistent. Consistent decisions build selftrust.
Next comes small courage. Confidence grows through tiny, brave acts: speaking once in the meeting, setting one boundary, asking one honest question. Each action creates evidence: I can do hard things.
Confidence also grows through competence. Deepening your skills, learning your tools, and investing in growth weakens imposter syndrome because you know you’ve done the work.
Finally, confidence requires commitment. Each season calls for greater clarity, stronger boundaries, and a deeper belief in who you’re becoming.
Thirty years later, I look back and barely recognize the woman who stood in that room.
Today, I have a college degree — something my first husband told me I could never finish.
I stand in front of people every day, speaking, leading, teaching, and facilitating.
I’ve built a career centered around helping others discover the confidence I once lacked.
And yes — even now — I still experience Imposter Syndrome.
But here’s what changed: I no longer let it drive.
When doubt appears, I meet it with mental clarity.
When fear surfaces, I counter it with growth.
When I feel small, I level up.
My confidence now is built on a foundation of personal and professional development, hard-earned self-awareness, and a relentless commitment to becoming the best version of myself — not for perfection, but for purpose.
The next chapter for me is all about Leveling Up:
• Deepening my knowledge
• Strengthening my tools
• Expanding my impact
• Adding value to the people I serve
• Becoming the woman I once needed
Confidence didn’t appear one day.
I built it — rep by rep, choice by choice, year by year.
And if I can build it, you can too.
Because confidence isn’t something we’re born with.
It’s something we become.
