Haters Mean Greatness
by Sally Anderson
“The bigger effect you have, the bigger momentum you make, the more of a challenge you put out into the world, the more success you have, the more the haters will come out and you have to understand haters confirm greatness.”
– quoted by Alex Charfen
With the escalation of cancel culture, Alex Charfen’s “Haters Mean Greatness” quote speaks volumes for those pioneering, trailblazing a vision in the world.
I often choose leadership and mindset mastery topics that may not be popular, for I believe there needs to be more written about the not-so-popular aspects of leadership and how to navigate one’s mindset to achieve a level of mastery – WHY? Because I genuinely care and am driven by teaching sustainable solutions to mastery in both areas, given that these are the areas I specialize in.
Alex further states:
- Those who are committed to AVERAGE will always judge those who are championing a different reality.
- If those who judge you, shame you, then they have not resolved their drama, and they will attack you.
- When you are polarizing enough, when you are shocking enough, when you are different enough, then not only do you cut through the noise to the people you do want to attract, but you also cut through the noise for the people who are polarized by you – that is when you know you are making massive change in the world!
I think you will agree these are powerful distinctions.
The statement “Hatred Means Greatness” is oxymoronic. And yet, it comes with the leadership territory when you become high profile and/or challenge the status quo. Having one’s character assassinated and/or defamed takes something to navigate as a leader. The three main reasons people hate you, which are highly documented and researched, are (1) They see you as a threat, (2) They hate themselves, and/or (3) They want to be you!
- Politicians experience it.
- Celebrities experience it.
- People of influence experience it.
- Thought leaders disrupting the status quo experience it.
- I have experienced it.
Those of us who have experienced it not only have to navigate the experience when it occurs but also have to continuously navigate it if those behind the assassination publish their hatred in written form on the internet. This written defamation has a life of its own. Public shaming is a big part of the haters’ strategy. When narcissists cannot control you, they will control the thinking of others.
So what do I recommend? – Top 15 Recommendations:
- Read and or watch the recommended links below; they are almighty powerful.
- If you live true to your values, you can sleep well at night and do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
- Spend time in silence; engaging with this low-level consciousness serves no one.
- If there is written defamation of character that lives on the internet, be upfront and do full disclosure with those who meet you so that you are clean with your exchange.
- You cannot control what others think of you; you can only control how you deal with it.
- Realize that others’ judgment of you speaks more about them than it does about you – remember: 1 finger pointing out, 3 fingers pointing back.
- Read Why Me, Why This, Why Now by Robin Norwood.
- Judgment = Mastery of Compassion – Have compassion for your haters. What must it be like in their shoes, in their quiet moments, that they project their hatred onto you to the degree they do?
- When faced with this experience, the main question asked is, “Why?” Why would people hate you when all you are trying to do is good in the world? STOP the analysis paralysis. Take the equanimous view – deal with “what is,” not how it could have been, should have been, or what you want it to be.
- As Alex Charfen highlights, learn from those who have overcome this experience.
- You are never given anything you can’t handle. If you have been given an experience of this nature, know you have what it takes to overcome it. Time to deepen your connection to your faith – whatever that is for you.
- Do “the work,” get the healing required to forgive those who perpetrated the attack, for the only person who loses out from the inability to forgive is the person who cannot forgive.
- It’s all very well to have PR support, legal support, and communications support, BUT the most important level of support you require is learning how to recalibrate, rebuild, and reinvent YOU and come back better than you were before!
- I recommend listening to the following video called The Crushing and reading TD Jakes’ book.
The Crushing
JD Lakes interview with Steve Furlick
It speaks to what you write above… that it’s in perfection for the next stage of evolution.
“Crushing is not the end.”
The crushing process is the beginning of a transformative experience with God. Everything you have gone through, whether it tried to crush your heart, mind, body, or spirit, will be used to strengthen you for the next level in your purpose. Before Jesus could fulfill His purpose, He too had to be crushed. He was crushed for our iniquities in order for us to be healed (Isaiah 53:5). The crushing has purpose. The enemy tried to use it to kill you, but God is going to use it to bring a metamorphosis into your life. This change is preparing you to endure what may come against you on the next level. There is a special anointing for those who have been crushed. This anointing will help you withstand all that may come against you. So, stand firm and know the crushing is just the beginning.
15. Ask yourself this series of questions: “If I understand that this is happening not TO me, but FOR me, what is the blessing and opportunity here? What if the Universe has an exquisite plan for me, one that is so beautiful it would blind my eyes? What would that plan look like? How is this a beautiful Divine Redirection? What have I been asked to surrender completely to? What scary move have I been ignoring or delaying that is now possible because I am at Tabula Rasa?”
Helpful Links
Overcoming Tough Times – Bill Edstrom – TD Jakes – Les Brown – Steve Harvey
Article about How To Survive A Character Assassination by Huffington Post
Video of Brene Brown – Why Your Critics Don’t Count
Listen to Robin Sharma podcast/video – Why Love Your Haters
Should you be interested in or know of someone who is in need of support who has been publicly shamed, character assassinated or cancelled, reach out via https://scandalcoach.com/
