By Wendy Watson
I want to begin by telling you about an experience that unfolded recently in Brian Muka’s Invincibility Dojo—an experience that solidified a powerful lesson I’ve come to embrace as part of my Love Legacy framework. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Wendy Watson: speaker, entrepreneur, and passionate advocate for reframing our perspectives so that we become the authors of our own success stories. Something profound happened during one of our sessions, and I felt compelled to share it with you immediately—bypassing my usual social media channels—because I believe someone out there needs to hear this right now.
In a group discussion, Brian brought up the concept of failure. He was curious to hear how each of us defined it, and when my turn arrived, I realized I had a very specific viewpoint. It’s a perspective that shapes how I see the world, how I approach challenges, and how I choose to honor my gifts. It’s also deeply intertwined with the Love Legacy framework I’ve built over time—a framework that focuses on leading with love, learning from every experience, and leaving behind an empowering legacy for ourselves and others.
Embracing the Reality That Failure Doesn’t Exist
The moment Brian asked, “What does failure mean to you?” I immediately responded, “Failure, for me, doesn’t exist.” This wasn’t me being glib or trying to skirt around mistakes. I truly believe failure doesn’t exist because every so-called ‘failure’ brings a lesson. If there’s a lesson, then there’s growth—and if there’s growth, how can it be an outright failure?
1. Learning Is the Key.
Each time I come across a stumbling block, a disappointment, or a plan that simply doesn’t pan out the way I envisioned, I ask myself: What am I meant to learn from this? This transforms the entire experience. When I glean a lesson, I’ve succeeded in discovering something valuable I didn’t know before. That knowledge can guide me forward in ways I couldn’t have imagined. In my eyes, that’s progress, not failure.
2. Discovering What Doesn’t Work.
I also place significant value on discovering what doesn’t work. Sometimes we focus so much on success that we forget the brilliance of mistakes. They serve as arrows pointing us away from the paths that lead to dead ends or frustration. Instead of labeling these detours as failures, we can see them as signposts to try something new. Just as Thomas Edison famously learned from every attempt that didn’t produce a working light bulb, we can learn from every attempt that doesn’t yield our desired result.
3. It’s Not About Avoiding Mistakes; It’s About Evolving.
When I was asked, “But what if you decided to transition out of this life early—wouldn’t that be a failure?” my immediate reaction was still a firm no. Although I take mental health extremely seriously and don’t say this to minimize the gravity of suicide or depression, I have a spiritual belief that if I transitioned from this life, I would continue learning on another plane. In my worldview, whether here or beyond, growth continues. For me, that dissolves the concept of failure altogether.
As Brian and I conversed, we noted that failure is just a story our wounded ego tells us. It’s that version of ourselves that sets a vision of what we want to create and then labels it as “failure” when the exact result we hoped for doesn’t materialize. My challenge—and the challenge I pose to you—is to look at your own life and see how often you take on the label of failure when maybe all you really need to do is rewrite the ending.
The Love Legacy Framework: Leading with Love, Learning for Life
You might be wondering, “What exactly is the Love Legacy framework?” Over the years, as I’ve grown my businesses, guided others, and pursued my own spiritual growth, I’ve developed a method of thinking that centers on the power of love in everything we do—love for ourselves, love for others, and love for the journey, no matter how bumpy it might get.
The Love Legacy framework has three core pillars:
- Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion
- Courageous Connection and Support
- Transformative Storytelling
All these tie into the concept that “failure” is just a story. Let’s explore how.
1. Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion
When I talk about self-awareness in the context of my Love Legacy framework, I’m talking about recognizing the stories we tell ourselves—especially the negative ones. The old me, years ago, might have clung to the idea that a certain event or outcome spelled disaster. But as I’ve grown, I realize that is simply my wounded ego speaking. That voice can be insistent, critical, and even cruel, telling me I’m not good enough or that I messed up irreparably.
Self-awareness means spotting that voice for what it is: an overprotective mechanism that’s so afraid of being hurt or disappointed that it slaps a “failure” label on anything less than perfection. When I acknowledge that voice, I can bring in self-compassion—the gentler, more loving voice that says, “You’re human, you’re learning, and this is part of the growth process.”
By leaning into self-compassion, I disrupt the negative narrative of failure and replace it with acceptance and understanding. In that space, I ask myself: What did this moment of struggle teach me? Usually, the answers are far more enlightening than anything a label of “failure” could tell me.
2. Courageous Connection and Support
My Love Legacy framework also emphasizes connection—being in a supportive community or partnership with people who encourage us to see beyond our blind spots. In Brian Muka’s Invincibility Dojo, we hold each other accountable for rewriting these unhelpful narratives. When we share openly about the fears we face or the times we didn’t meet our goals, we create room for others to remind us that a single outcome doesn’t define us.
Connection helps us see our experiences from fresh perspectives. Sometimes, it takes a friend, mentor, or partner to point out that what we’re calling a failure is actually a stepping stone. They might say, “Wait, look at this skill you developed here,” or “Look at how you pivoted and found a new path that’s even better.” Those reflections can be invaluable because they shine a light on the growth we might overlook when we’re lost in self-judgment.
3. Transformative Storytelling
Finally, the Love Legacy framework is all about the stories we tell. If failure is a story that our wounded ego spins, then we have the power to create a new story—one that honors the lessons we’ve learned, the resilience we’ve cultivated, and the ways we can move forward. Transformative storytelling isn’t about lying to ourselves or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about giving ourselves permission to incorporate the struggles and roadblocks into a narrative of growth.
I often ask myself: How can I transform this perceived failure into a success story? Maybe the “failure” of a particular project forced me to communicate better with my team, leading to stronger relationships in the long run. Perhaps the “failure” of a business venture revealed a passion I didn’t know I had. Or a “failure” in a relationship taught me about boundaries and self-worth. By re-framing the outcome as a pivotal learning point rather than a final condemnation, I rewrite my narrative into one of hope and possibility.
How We Turn Successes into Failures (and How to Stop)
You might be asking, “But wait, how do we sometimes transform successes into failures?” In my experience, this usually happens when our wounded ego sets an unrealistic or rigid vision of what success should look like—so rigid that even if we meet many of our goals, we hyperfocus on the one thing we didn’t achieve perfectly.
For example, let’s say I set out to write a book, and I complete a manuscript that genuinely helps thousands of people find hope or direction. But my personal yardstick might have been, “I need to sell 500,000 copies in the first year.” If I don’t hit that exact number, my wounded ego could interpret the entire project as a failure. Notice what’s happening: I’m transforming a success into a failure by refusing to celebrate how my work impacted thousands of readers. I’m letting my vision overshadow real achievements and valuable lessons.
To prevent this from happening within the Love Legacy framework, I remind myself:
- Appreciate Milestones. Every bit of progress is worth acknowledging.
- Stay Flexible. Realize that success can come in unexpected forms. Sometimes, the greatest success of a project is discovering a skill or passion we never noticed before.
- Keep a Grateful Heart. Practicing gratitude for what is working protects us from the negativity that tries to label near-misses as full-blown failures.
Healing the Wounded Ego: A Personal Responsibility
During our conversation, Brian asked a poignant question: “Would you see it as failure if you decided to leave this life early?” As I mentioned, I said no—because in my belief system, even that is part of a grander learning journey. This is not to advocate for ending one’s life prematurely; mental health is something I take extremely seriously. But it does highlight that for me, no outcome is a dead-end of learning. Everything is part of an unfolding tapestry.
Our wounded ego is that part of us that can’t see beyond immediate results, that part that craves absolute victory or complete self-condemnation. Learning to heal the wounded ego is a personal responsibility, and it requires us to develop an inner resilience, a love-led approach to ourselves, and a willingness to see beyond surface-level disappointment. When we do, we invite grace into our lives. We allow ourselves to say, “I’m learning, I’m growing, and that’s enough to keep me going.”
A Real-Life Example: Shifting the Narrative
Let me share a personal story illustrating how I once labeled an experience as a failure before I realized I could rewrite the narrative. I had launched a program I was deeply passionate about, expecting a certain number of sign-ups. In my head, I told myself that if I didn’t hit a specific target, it meant I was unworthy as a coach, or that people didn’t value what I had to offer. When the launch concluded, I had fewer sign-ups than I’d hoped.
Immediately, my wounded ego started in with a negative script: “You failed. People don’t resonate with your work. Why even try again?” But then I remembered my own guiding principles—my Love Legacy framework. I decided to analyze what actually happened. I realized the smaller group that did join was a perfect fit for my program. They were engaged, excited, and ready to learn. We formed a tight-knit community, and I got to offer them a highly personalized experience that might not have been possible with a larger group. On top of that, I discovered multiple ways to refine my marketing efforts for future launches.
So was it a “failure”? Not at all. It was a stepping stone, leading me toward more clarity. It also reminded me that the number of participants wasn’t the measure of worthiness. The measure was the meaningful transformation those participants underwent, and the lessons I learned in the process. That’s a success in my eyes—and once I embraced that perspective, I felt peace instead of disappointment.
Invitation: Rewriting One “Failure” Story This Weekend
Before signing off from the Dojo, I challenged everyone to go into the weekend and pick one so-called failure from their past. Once identified, they were to rewrite it. This rewriting involves asking:
- What was I really trying to achieve?
- What did I learn in the process?
- What new possibilities opened up as a result, even if they weren’t the ones I originally expected?
- How did I grow personally—did I develop patience, resilience, creativity, or empathy?
- What hidden successes can I celebrate?
This is something I invite you to do as well. Take a moment, maybe with a journal and a calm space, and consider a time you labeled a situation a “failure.” Challenge that narrative. Ask yourself: Did I truly fail, or did I discover a new approach, meet new people, refine a skill, or gain valuable wisdom about what not to do? By actively rewriting that story, you empower yourself to step away from negative self-judgment and step toward gratitude and growth.
Recognizing the Role of Divine Guidance (If That Speaks to You)
For me, part of rewriting the story involves tapping into my faith in a higher power. When an outcome differs from what I expected, I trust that my Creator might be nudging me toward something greater than I could imagine for myself. Perhaps the project that didn’t pan out was meant to lead me to a better collaboration. Maybe the door that closed was meant to guide me toward one that’s more aligned with my gifts and purpose.
Not everyone shares this spiritual viewpoint, and that’s okay. The principle remains that if we stay open to the idea that life can still work out in beautiful ways we haven’t envisioned yet, it’s easier to see so-called “failures” as divine redirections or helpful lessons.
Your Love Legacy: An Ongoing Voyage
At its core, my Love Legacy framework isn’t just about personal development; it’s about how our choices ripple out and affect others. When you reframe your failures as lessons, you model resilience for those around you. Whether you’re a mother showing your child that it’s okay to stumble on the way to achieving a goal, or a leader demonstrating to your team that every setback is a chance to improve, you’re building a legacy of love and learning. You’re proving that success and compassion aren’t mutually exclusive. Instead, they’re partners in an ongoing voyage of self-discovery.
This matters on a broader scale too. Women around the world, across cultures and generations, often face intense pressure to be perfect—perfect in our careers, in our families, in our self-presentation. But we have the power to change that narrative, to stand as examples that growth matters more than faultlessness. By embracing a viewpoint that “failure doesn’t exist,” we can liberate ourselves from the burdens of unrealistic expectations and shine our light with authenticity.
A Final Word: Transforming Your Perspective
So, as we wrap up, I encourage you to reflect on your own journey. Think about something you once labeled as a failure. Ask yourself: If I extracted the lessons, would it still be a failure? Did it lead me to a new experience, a deeper relationship, or an unexpected opportunity? Did it reveal a part of myself I hadn’t embraced yet—like creativity, tenacity, or empathy? Could it be that “failure” was actually grace in disguise?
Transforming our successes into failures often happens when we set rigid, ego-driven parameters for success. But by returning to love—love for ourselves, love for our potential, love for the gifts we bring into the world—we open up to the boundless ways we can learn, grow, and flourish.
In my eyes, success isn’t just about results; it’s about the courage to keep evolving. It’s about honoring the lessons in every twist and turn, trusting that we’re exactly where we need to be. This is the essence of the Love Legacy framework: rewriting our stories so they become sagas of growth, resilience, and compassion. And as we master this art of rewriting, we don’t just transform our own lives—we transform the lives of those around us, too.
So here’s my challenge to you: Take one so-called failure, hold it gently, and ask it what it taught you. Then, rewrite the script. Find the lesson. Find the growth. Find the little spark of success hidden beneath the surface. And when you do, notice how your heart softens, your mind expands, and your spirit steps boldly into the future. This is how we become unstoppable. This is how we live our love legacy—one rewritten “failure” at a time.
